Sunday, 22 October 2017

Here is why I stopped watching Telemundo

Photo credit :Telemundo

Turning on the television,  after partaking in rigorous house chores; to cool off, the first station that came on was showing Telemundo, without thinking twice or blinking twice, I changed the channel to watch news instead.

So why did I do that with immediate alacrity? This is a tale of once bitten, twice shy. So far, Telemundos have not been able to 'help my condition'  rather they made me have a false sense of the real world.


It all started when boo and I were having serious issues threatening our relationship. Ever since, it had been lovey dovey all the way particularly when we started dating.

Then some months down the line, our relationship took some new twists and the arguments and quarrels started creeping in gradually. Determined to make our relationship work,  knowing that we are two imperfect different individuals, we resorted to sorting our differences amicably without letting it linger onto the next day no matter what.

However, all hell was let loose when I saw a different side of boo that I had never seen when we had a major quarrel and for the first time, I saw him flare up. The cool, calm, collected guy I knew, was not bulging in, he was deeply pained. Still trying to recollect what went wrong though,  but I do know things went out of hand.


At that point, our relationship was threatened. What did I do? It was not like I was totally at fault but the more I tried to make him see his own faults too and see things from my own perspective,  the more he became defensive and found it more offensive.


 A day after, we didn't talk. We were waiting for the first person to reach out to the other. Okay, so I sat down and thought things through, I had to swallow my pride and apologise even though I knew he had also offended me too.


I dressed up and went to visit him in his house. I had already mapped out what I was going to do and it was largely influenced by what I watched on television. Then, after watching a scene from one of the current Telemundos airing at that time,  I thought I could apply the same strategy learnt.


 This is what happened, the lady in the Telemundo, who  had offended her man, was able to appease him with sex. Going to her man's house, she was dressed to kill as she sought to make amends. The next thing she did was to try to manipulate him with tears and guess what? It worked. It didn't end there, she walked out on him crying, saying that if he wanted her no more, she would be fine.


That is how in this Telemundo, the guy pursued her into the streets, not minding onlookers watching them stage an 'entertaining'  drama for their view, he begged her to come back, pleading that he didn't want her to leave his life, kneeling down and all that. With all that show of love and desire, they made up just like that and the next thing, they landed on the bed?!?!


So I thought I could act that out with boo when we had issues. Omo, boo didn't fall for my tears first of all. He kept explaining and hammering on what he considered I did wrong.  I left his presence in annoyance, thinking he would run after me to come back. I walked and walked on the streets expecting him to run after me like the guy in Telemundo only to turn back to see nobody was coming after me except a corn seller,  who was running to sell corn to a customer in a moving vehicle! Just imagine??? It took serious prayer and fasting plus the intervention of our mentor for boo and I to let go and carry on.


I thought I was the only one who Telemundo affected negatively until Sunday morning, during sermon, the preacher who was speaking on relationships, said that Telemundo also 'showed him pepper'. According to him, these television series made him have the wrong expectations and perceptions of marriage.


Having watched an episode that a couple made up by passionate love making after a serious quarrel,he thought that he could apply that to his household. Then, he was newly married,and he was so eager to have his first quarrel to experience what he saw on Telemundo. So he waited for the first fight with his wife thinking that he would just grab her and plant a kiss on her lips and from there they would move to passionate love making and forget their heated argument just like that!


 In fact, it was not as easy as he envisaged, for their quarrel excavated and what Telemundo painted was very far from his expectation and what he experienced. It was a different ball game entirely. In fact he had to resort to other tested and proven methods of resolving conflicts to save his marriage.


With that experience, now, I belong to the class of women who would never bother spending their time watching Telemundo series. This is because of the unrealistic expectations they have created in my mind. Instead, I would engage myself watching something else educative or funny and not something that gives me a unrealistic expectation about marriage and relationships because what they act, does not happen in the real world.

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

What's the difference between 'being educated' and 'getting an education'?

Here are some things I think does not make you appear educated:

Kindly watch this short impromptu video then come back to read:





  • You use the toilet without flushing.


  • You defecate in the bush along the express way
  •  
  •  You urinate by the roadside and by people's fences.

  • You throw waste from your vehicle or from inside a bus.

  • You think using swear words is fly.

  • You make noise while eating.

  • You don't apply what you learnt in school.

  • You go through school but do not let school go through you.

  • You scratch your groins in public.
  

  • You yell at the top of your voice when receiving or making calls in a public place.


  • You disobey traffic lights.

  • You take one-way roads.

  • You don't mind spitting anywhere and anyhow.

 

  • You are one of those guys that think a woman's place is only in the kitchen and that she is none other than a baby producing factory.

  • You blame the government for everything!

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Is it impossible for parents to not play favourites?

Photo credit: dailymail


 Do parents actually show favoritism to a particular child? Psychologists claim that parent show favouritism to one child over another particularly if the child has special needs or new born babies or children of the same gender. According to them, disfavoured children suffer more depression, show greater aggressiveness, have low self-esteem and are poor academically.

Well, child favouritism can be traced from biblical days. Recalling the story of Jacob and Esau, Jacob was more loved than his brother, Esau by his mother. Another example is that of Joseph, who was also more loved than all his brothers by his father. This made his brothers envious of him and sold him to slavery. Thankfully, the story ended well because it all turned out for Joseph's good.

During a lunch break at the workplace,  a colleague was complaining of one of her children whom she said was a pain in the neck. She said that she preferred his other sibling because of his behaviour. So I asked whether it is impossible for parents to not have favourites?The responses got me thinking.


A colleague had said that it is impossible to love all one's children equally. She used herself as an example. She had six girls and was seriously praying to have a boy and thankfully, the seventh was a boy. According to her, she treats her only and last born son especially as a king and this kind of agitates his sisters who feel like they are not as precious as the boy. Would we blame her when in some cultures, a woman is not considered to have children unless has a male child?

Another colleague seconded the motion and chipped in that out of his two children who are twins, he also prefers the younger one because she was more outspoken, funny and problem solver. He gave instances of when he had issues with his mobile phone and the younger one was quick to proffer solutions. He also added that the younger one had taught him about social media and how to upload apps on her phone. It was not like he did not love the elder one, it was just that he naturally bonded with the younger one more.

Personally, I think showing favouritisms  starts when parents start making a comparison between the siblings. Take, for example, a mother complaining about one of her daughters that she is careless and lacks good judgement to another daughter whom she considers careful and prudent. If the scolding becomes constant, the daughter who is at the receiving end might start to feel she less loved and can not live up to her mother's expectation. She might secretly harbour hate for the other sister who appears to be perfect and wanted.

I had grown thinking that I was the least loved. Don't get me wrong, it is not liked my parents didn't love me but I just thought they loved my siblings more. So when the colleague at work, who had twin boys, said he loved one twin than the other, I was like- say what? He was like it is impossible for a parent to love their children equally. According to him, one twin was more creative, jovial and intelligent but the other appeared laid-back and less creative. He also revealed that child favouritism could also be influenced by the birth experiences/circumstances  surrounding that child.

After Sunday service somewhere around the children's church, Gertrude, a teenager, got my attention. She was moping by the corner and I was compelled to ask her what went wrong. According to her, she has been having issues with her mom lately. So what happened exactly? That was my first impulse. She said that she is not just good enough and she was doubting if she would be able to live up to her mother's expectation. I had to probe further by asking her why she thought so. Gertrude has concluded that her mother preferred her elder sister to herself. She felt it was because her elder sister was prettier, more intelligent and carbon-copy of her mum in terms of looks and character.

Knowing that I had travelled that road before, I told her that I could relate to her story. In fact, I told her that at some point in my life I had felt that way before. Instantly, her face lit up. So I went further telling her how I was able to control the situations by getting rid of negative emotions such as hate, envy, low self-esteem and sibling rivalry.

The best way I think to get over such was to see the 'alleged favouritism and comparison' as a motivating factor to be better than one is. I also added that most times one might see oneself as the least loved but truth is, parental love can not be substituted with an outsider.

Another approach would be to engage her mother or father in dialogue where she can state instances where they showed favouritism and appeared unfair to her so that they become fully aware and do the needful. Having it at the back of one's mind that everyone is unique, even identical twins, so people tend to relate to each person differently, would ease the negative emotions steaming from favouritism. That being said, parents should also strive to not make appear like they favour a particular child over the other no matter what.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

#WomanCrushWednesday: Check out 10 Red carpet looks from Michelle Obama




Just little tale from this amazon:

 One night, former President of United States, Barrack Obama and his wife, Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious. When they were seated the owner of the restaurant, asked Barrack Obama's secret service if he could please speak to his wife in private. They gladly obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the restaurant owner,
Following the conversation, Barrack Obama was curious to know what went down so he asked his wife:
" Why was he so interested in talking to you?"
Michelle replied that during her teenage years, the owner was madly in love with her. To which Obama replied that if he had married her, she would have been the owner of the lovely restaurant.
Refusing to take defeat, Michelle responded:
"No, if I had married him, he would have become a US president"
Now that is what I ma talking about!

Michelle Obama is what I can describe as a three-in-one woman. She is intelligent, beautiful and charismatic. She is not just a pretty face but beauty merged with brains.She is down-to-earth and very amiable.  During her tenure, she was the brain behind the ''Lets Move'' campaign that sought to promote healthy lifestyle habits amongst children.

Have you caught her busting those moves? She is a stepper,a good one as that! Being the first lady didn't prevent her from being herself. The mother of two had been caught on the field engaging in athletics e.g Table Tennis. She does karaoke like no other.

Michelle Obama has been regarded as one of the stylish/fashionable FLOTUS of all time. Of course she couldn't be caught alone without her proud husband, Barrack Obama. So check out10 red carpet  looks from our Woman Crush Wednesday, Michelle Obama:











Photo credit: Pininterest

Which is your favourite?

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

#WomanCrushWednesday: Check out 8 beauty looks from super diva, Kate Henshaw



The first thing that captivates you about Nollywood actress,  Kate Henshaw is her endearing smile and the gaiety of her laughter which is so infectious. Do you know that this beautiful actress, who is also a fitness guru, is also a very good dancer? Follow her on Instagram and watch videos of her busting those moves and you are hooked! 


Kate Henshaw  was born in Cross River and is the oldest of four children.  She had her early school education in Lagos and Calabar. Although she enrolled in University of Calabar to study Medical Microbiology, she later ventured into acting when she auditioned and landed a lead role in the movie-When the Sun sets. That was how her journey into acting began.

Having starred in over 45 movies, Kate Henshaw  remains one of the most soughted-after actresses in Nollywood.  She is the recipient of several awards and endorsement deals.

On the red carpet, Kate Henshaw always the graces events with her presence, outfit and style. In celebration of her, she is our  woman crush this Wednesday. So I bring to you eight beauty looks of this diva. See them below:

Which is your favourite? 



Photo credit: Instagram @k8henshaw

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Church Panorama


Saturday, 1 July 2017

11 types of people you find in banks



Photo Credit: Peace Ben William Blog

It was a long weekend; very much needed for rest and to prepare, plan and project for the coming working days.Since money had been spent over this weekend, I needed to dash to the bank to get some money to sustain my expenses.

 Do you know that the bank is a drama house? You meet different kinds of people with different occupations, agendas and motives. Besides, whenever there is a gathering of different people, drama is bound to abound. Brings me to the list of certain peoole you find in virtually any banking hall, they include:

1. The Latecomers
 Banks normally close at 4.00 p.m but somehow they just seem to get there late. These people might have been victims of poor planning or we could blame it on traffic or just some other pressing engagement that took most of their time. They may resort to begging the security guards for favours that is if these men in uniform would listen to their pleas.

2. Biro borrowers
I mean you are coming to the bank, you would need a pen! Okay, may be it didnt occur to them but thses people borrow pens in the banking halls. The most annoying thing is when you have to beg for your biro to be returned or you cant find the person who borrowed your pen again.

3. The Rule breakers
 They jump the queues. They do not respect other people. They also disobey bank rules like receiving calls in the banking hall e.t.c. These people just believe in  ''playing smart'' and think they are immune to any form of sanctions.

4. ''Pepper dem gang''a.k.a Slay Mamas
With their make ups on fleek, latest hairdos, trendy clothes, these people particularly ladies make heads turn in the banking hall. Most times they get preferential treatment from the men folk because of their sex appeal. They might be the reason a  jealous female worker would deliberately delay people or develop attitude towards them when on the queue waiting for their turns to carry out their transactions.

5. The  Complainers
 For them, they would always remember the ''good old days'' when everything seemed good. They would complain of poor customer service, bad network , poor delivery , lack of infrastructure and everything else that has to do with the particular bank. As if that is not enough, they start making comparisons with other banks that appear to do better than the one they are patronising.

6. The Door Rejectors
At times you wonder if the bank is out to get them out because no matter the number of metals they remove form their body and personal belongings, they are rejected at the entrance. Most times, protocoal have to be broken for them to gain entrance.


7. The Seat occupiers
 They are in the bank to occupy the available seats that because  they simply accompanied the bank user to the bank. So instead of loitering around ,they deem it best to take a seat and wait for their friend, relative or colleague or whomever they came with.

8. The Unschooled
These people are in need of assistance. You might want to appear to arrogant showing that you are learned when they approach you for help on what to do , how to do, what to write, where to go.........Sometimes you find them at the ATM struggling on how to carry out an operation. You have to be careful that you don't laugh when they start ''blowing fuse'' with their bad English grammar.

9. The Not Interested
No matter what goes on in the banking hall whether good or bad, they would show lack of interest. They are just there top do what they have to do and get out. the complaining, the praises , the dramas, the activities does not in any way interest them. Probably, their mind is somewhere else and on something else. You might even find these set of people stuck with their headphone listening to music.

10.  The Over schooled
Just as we have the ''Not so schooled'', we have the overschooled. They bombard us with ''Big big grammars''. we might consult them for assistance and directions.  They seem to know everything banking.

11. The Uncategorised
We do not know why they are in the banking hall probably to supervise or to observe what is going on. Or they are just there for being there. Well, you never can tell. May be they are on a mission.

Did I leave any one out? Please add yours xoxo