Sunday, 20 November 2016

How to attend a Lagos event?

                                 Image credit: Jumia Travel

I have been a Lagosian all my life.  Eko oni baje oo! The city is ever bubbling with new opportunities everyday. I learnt that about 3000 immigrants troop into Lagos on daily basis. For what exactly? Your guess is as good as mine. They are in search of greener pastures. No wonder it has been tagged the commercial centre. There is also a saying that if you can make it Lagos, you can make anywhere.

Normally, every weekend is spiced up with events, shows and "owambes". Personally, I am much of an indoors person but as God would have it, I got an IV for a Lagos show. Going there for the first time, I was quick to pick up certain trends and they are:

1. Never go early
Am sure you are not new to ''Nigerian time''? That would form another discussion for another day. On getting to the event pretty earlier than usual, I noticed they were yet to start even at the take off time. In fact, they started three hours later. It is best to stay prepared than caught unawares. Buy bottled water/sip a drink or take popcorn, pop chewing gum because hunger pangs would start locking in.

2. Change your name
I actually went there to interview guests. Do you know that virtually all the guests I spoke had English names like Tataina, Lerato, Sandra, Meagan, Carolina, jeffrey, Clinton, Moissa and the likes. I didn't hear names like Akpo, Nkechi, Mayowa, Biliki, Livinus, Chikodiri, Mutiu, Bala e.t.c

3.Speak with phoney accent
Some people spoke with phoney accent. I think it was embarrassing to speak pidgin or be real. It was more or less a show-off of a  particular kind of attitude. ''Spreeing'' to the fullest less you be tagged local.

4.Dress street style
This one is a personal thing. Fashion is what you wear, style is how you wear it. People never go for Lagos event without having the intention to slay and make heads turn. Not bad if you ask me. However, if it appears that you made so much effort  to make a statement then wahala dey! As in when you make an entrance yet nobody ja you face. *sighing*

5. Go with power bank
Unless you have two fully charged batteries then you might not necessarily bother about this. The event would be taking selfies, making calls,  videos and all and if care is not taken your phone battery might just get totally drained. Just have a back up plan.

6. Never go solo
No man is an Island. If you really want to have fun and don't want to feel left out, it's best to have a buddy around. Trying to blend might land you several jibes. Unless your threshold is very strong, you might allow people give ''ela'' and take it calmly as part of life. Seriously, it is more fun to be in the company of your friends or family.

With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you of how to attend a Lagos event. Did I leave out any tip, please share....xoxo

Saturday, 5 November 2016

Frenemies(Friends + Enemies)




Shuttling from bus to bus is spiced with drama, laughter and irritation. You meet the good, the bad and the ugly. On this fateful day, the bus I boarded had a preacher.We do bump into them occasionally but this particular one struck me with his message.

He was talking about enemies( I used to think Durella and Timaya were the only ones that had enemies because they were all singing about enemies) but it is not so. According to the preacher, people had pictures of their supposed enemies and they raise prayer point against these people. He was like it was better to pray that one is at peace with his maker than pray for ones enemies to die. There was the likelihood that a person may be his own enemy and in turn pray for his/her death or downfall.

Another thing that struck me was how he gave instances of how certain professions were not human-friendly and could be potential enemies. For instance, a doctor income increases with the increase of sick people. His business thrives only in a diseased community, isn't it? The preacher made sense though.

This one is easy to relate with. The guy who sells coffins makes huge profit with the increase in the number of deaths. Does that mean that his prayer point would be for people to die so he would have customers? Your guess is as good as mine. But if he is not available who would make coffins?

Someone like me I am very happy when dollar in creases because international freelancing jobs pay in dollars and that means more money for me. Does that make me an enemy of progress??? Knowing that increase in dollar rates brings inflation in the Nigerian economy. Every Tom, Dick and Harry would want to inlfate the prices of their commodity with the dollar increase trend.

 I saw a display picture that engineering is the only profession that makes profit through solving problems. How true is this? Come to think of it, the lawyer gets busy with increased crime rates, the mechanic's business blossoms with the breaking down of many vehicles. Law Enforcement officials get working with increased crimes. If all the students were brilliant then there would be no need for teachers to teach.

Long and short of this turanchi is that all professions exist to solve a need no matter how critical they appear. And we should be careful who we tag as enemies becuase man might be his own enemy. It is best to be at peace with ones self, Maker and neighbours.