Showing posts with label Business. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Business. Show all posts

Monday, 20 February 2017

When he feels he is doing you a favour by marrying you?


                                             Image credit: Pulse

It was an intellectual conversation centered on that very course that we never understood. Imagine, the lecturer of this particular course would come to class and not teach but would expect you to read up and do the explanations yourself. If it was not class presentation, it was series of assignments. If it was neither of the two, it was impromptu tests. That was what the whole discussion was all about considering that examinations were around the corner but somehow it switched to marriage. How it managed to change gear  and direction that I am still cracking my brain.

Ding! It is a actually started when a '' toaster'' of Sheneneh  joined the conversation and he was telling the other guys present  that she had refused to give him the green light. That was how one other guy, let's call him (John Bosco ) took it upon himself and told Sheneneh's toaster to take chill pills because in next two years or so, Sheneneh would be the one on his matter. He even gave instances of how desperate girls stylishly call guys to register their availability. He  added that Sheneneh  would start by calling him casually saying :
''I just called to say hello! ''  

According to this guy that was a signal from a woman who is available and desperate especially one who over time had played very hard to get but after weighing her options had to act fast to beat time.

Point taken. Really, so guys take it that a single woman calling them just to holla is indirectly pressing them for marriage, might not be the same for every guy though. My thoughts, henceforth, no more calls to guys unless it is very urgent.

So why did Sheneneh not jah this guy face. Firstly, he did not appear serious. Any serious guy should be willing to cross the oceans, break barriers, kill lions or even do the unimaginable. Okay on a  more serious note, you can always tell when someone is serious. It would show in their actions and behaviour. This guy in question looked like he was just wanted to '' test the microphone''. Do you ask a girl out by giving conditions? Do you ask a girl out with threats like you better say yes before I would change my mind and the likes.

Secondly, this guy in question was not her ideal kind of man. We heard that women should bring their high standards down. True but is knowing what you want and sticking it to way too unrealistic. This guy was just too dishonest. That was a major flaw. He knew how to lie. His words were just sugar-coated. We have been warned as women to draw the line between sincere praise and flattery. This guy did the latter very well. It was written all over his face. He is a professional liar.

Thirdly, he had actually told Sheneneh that he was doing her a favour and she better 
give in before she gets to old for marriage. Hmm.... In fact that was the deal breaker. Why on earth would a guy think he is doing a woman a favour by marrying her? Is it because of the age factor? That really got me thinking. Why would any guy think he is  doing woman a favour by marrying her?

If so where is the place of love that is neither boastful nor conditional? l am sure it has been over emphasised that a woman virtually forfeits many things for the sake of the man she is marrying. She changes her name for the man. She carries his children for nine months and so on. Sometimes she forgoes her ambition to be a wife and mother. Managing the home is a full time business, and a takes someone who is good in multitasking and skilled, many women are professionals in this area.

The Holy book also buttresses that the man who finds a wife obtains favour. The man is meant to be enriched by his wife and she is his crown. So where does the whole idea that I am doing you a favour if you marry me come from? Reversely, the woman is actually doing the man a favour because she is the one that would bring him favour according to the Holy book.

Concerning the man na man syndrome, this is when a woman has given hope that she will ever get married so any man that shows up whether it Tom, Dick or Harry, she would hold tightly lest he might be the last. With societal pressures and the likes, a woman who is unsure of herself might just for that gimmick.  It is not easy particularly with the constant reminder of  ones biological clock ticking. A man who sees a woman as someone he married out of pity cannot never be loving enough. 

Women need to nourished, protected and cherished. Will such a man claiming bragging rights do these to his woman when he thinks he is doing the woman a favour by getting married to her?

Personally, l don't think women should marry out of fear but love and on their own freewill and conviction. Do you think it is good for a man to say he is doing a woman favour by marrying her?

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Stereotyping...a human thing?


Source: www.infinityhousemagazine.com

 Take a good look at the picture above. You have already formed stereotypes without blinking twice. The guy in the left would appear to you as someone  obviously into drugs because of his dress sense and looks. On the other hand, the guy in the right would strike as a banker or  a lawyer or any white collar job person. Reason that he is wearing a suit. But he could also be into drugs but the suit has formed a stereotype already.

We just cant seem to get over forming stereotypes. I think it is part of human beings. Sometimes it is wrong , other times it is true. It just kind of guides the way one would accept the other person... Other stereotypes that I have come across are listed below:

 Supposing a lady all made up with long nails and short dress should start preaching in a bus, people would raise eyebrows because they have formed stereotypes that she can not be "born again" whereas if another lady covers her head and is dressed in " mary amaka" one might be tempted to believe that she is really a brethren#Stereotypes

It is usually assumed tall guys are basketball players. Well...you might be surprised  that he is no where near  Michael Jordan.

 Another one is that ladies with beard are very wicked. Apparently it is like I have beards ( just three or four strands down my chin). Didnt even know until one guy drew my attention to it when we were discussing one day like that and ever since then the blade had been my best buddy weekly. But I am not wicked  that I am certain of.

And that any politician/government official /police with pot belly is corrupt, really?

Guys who have several foldings at the back of their head(kpomo) must be very wealthy. It is assumed that they amassed so much wealth that it had  gone to form folds at the back of his head. Please do you research and lemme know if it is true.

 This one is standard- Ijebu people are tightfisted. I have been in the midst of people from this part of the country and I think it holds oo. They don't like waste and dropping money is always an issue.

Edo people are into voodoo. Hmmm...Every Nigerian tribe virtually has witches and wizards but it looks like their headquarters is in....

Ibo people and money go together.  The Ibo people are so money conscious. Don't blame them, money makes the world go round. I am not Ibo but I like money too or don't you?

Other stereotypes include:
-Calabar girls make good cooks

-All bus conductors are school dropouts

-All tall girls are models

-Short people are aggressive and don't like intimidation

-Warri no dey carry last

-People from Ondo/Ekiti are very learned

-Left handed people are very brilliant...well, i  have not confirmed but so I heard. And then...

People who wear glasses are intelligent and first class materials. This one is very deceitful. Back in college, I was drawn to guys who wore glasses because I assumed they were very brilliant. Some people have developed tactics and started wearing glasses to create an illusion and impression to people....At a point, I wanted to wear glasses by force.

 How about every young unmarried woman in church prayer point is for God to give her husband. I mean there are other things that are pressing her like her business, visa, promotion,employment, money, a car, traveling abroad, education ...must it be that all she wants in life is just a husband???

 Please are there other stereotypes you can think of? Lets share....