Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Picking up the broken pieces


Photo credit: Oko's Blog

These things  normally happen in Nollywood but no, it was live. It happened to her. It was either the guy breaks the lady’s heart or vice versa and then the  hurting one goes mad or life becomes meaningless. She neither went mad nor lost her life purpose but she felt dejected.”

They say that time is meant to heal wounds but she was unsure if she would get over knowing that her ex just tied the knots. Yes! He just made her know she was history while his wife was his present and future.
She had  had big hopes that he would return. It was her belief that they were destined to be together. They had a lot in common. They were namesakes, from the same tribe, attended Sunday school together and the attraction was there.

However, she had pushed him to the wall ignoring his constant complaints of  her annoying behaviour. To her, he would forgive her as he always did. One day, he told her that he was no longer interested in the relationship. She thought he was joking. This was the same guy who confessed to love her always regardless. May be she banked on his forgiving nature that she forgot that he was human and would have breaking points. Then, it dawned on her that she was no more his priority, his bae, his woman and his heart.

It broke her heart. For nights she cried and cried, tried to make amends through various means and channels. She went through his siblings but to no avail. She went through his mentors and friends instead they advised her to moved on that she had stretched him beyond limit.

How would she live without him? No more calls? No more chats? No more outings? No more gists? No more planning together for the future? No more visitations ? No more games? No more eating together? No more laughing together?No more pictures together? No more praying together? No more….she could go on and on….

She thought she should give him some time probably he would come around. However, things turned out for the worse. It was like she was so obsessed with him. The more she tried to win him over, the more he withdrew. He resorted to blocking her on all social media platforms when she constantly tried to communcate with him. Facebook blocked. Whatsapp blocked. LinkedIn blocked, too. Okay, he was not on twitter. Then he stopped picking her calls.

The silent treatment nearly drove her nuts but she had something else that she had to hold on to or else her life seemed meaningless. She just got admission for a Masters degree. Would she allow the heartbreak to allow the opportunity to further her studies slip away? No! She had her education to fight for too. She would still go back to school, with a broken heart though. Also, she had a career in line, she could not allow her emotions get the better part of her and allow her career suffer.

Althrough her studies and career, she was hoping that one day, he would come back and say ”I am sorry, let’s start over again” and then that one day came and she got the biggest shock of her life. She found that he was now married. Thanks to social media and other sources. She could not believe it. It should have been her in the picture with him? But No, she was not.

Wow! First it was the denial stage. She said to herself that the woman in the picture with him could not be his bride probably a friend but pictures don’t lie. She had to admit the lady appeared beautiful but was the direct opposite of her in terms of physical appearance. It was far from friendship, this picture revealed they were life partners.

First impulse was to scream but instead she sent a congratulatory message to him hoping he would read it. He had completely blocked her from his life. Sadly, they had parted ways in the most bitter manner. No form of reconciliation or making peace with ones past girlfriend(s) as some guys do before tying the knot. (Most guys are guilty of this, when they are about to get married they start calling ex-gilrfirends to make peace so that they dont go with baggage into their marriage.)

Back to her story. It has been three weeks since she got to know that he was now married. She had lost weight and the pain in her chest was excruciating.
” Will you die because of one guy?” came one advice” Remember, if you die because of a man, many better finer men would pass by your grave and say ”omashe oo”’

If not for support from family and friends, she would have been a shadow of herself. She craved for encouragement as a newborn crave for breastmilk from the mother. The future looked bleak for her. This was someone she dreamt of the future with. Would she forgive herself for stretching him too far? Would she get over her regret?Would she find someone better than him? Does she need to revenge and let him know that he has no control of her happiness? Would she continue to stalk him on social media and give him the power to hurt her the more? These and many more questions filled her mind that she barely knew the answers to.

Her career was at stake and she still hopes to further her education. She was not ready to throw all her aspirations away even though the man she thought she loved was now married to someone else. She would just take a day at a time, her life was very precious to be wasted in regret.
As she wished him well in all his endeavours, she also muttered a prayer to her God that their parts never crossed and that she looks back at this phase in years to come and have a very good laugh because she thought she would never get over it.

Sunday, 20 November 2016

How to attend a Lagos event?

                                 Image credit: Jumia Travel

I have been a Lagosian all my life.  Eko oni baje oo! The city is ever bubbling with new opportunities everyday. I learnt that about 3000 immigrants troop into Lagos on daily basis. For what exactly? Your guess is as good as mine. They are in search of greener pastures. No wonder it has been tagged the commercial centre. There is also a saying that if you can make it Lagos, you can make anywhere.

Normally, every weekend is spiced up with events, shows and "owambes". Personally, I am much of an indoors person but as God would have it, I got an IV for a Lagos show. Going there for the first time, I was quick to pick up certain trends and they are:

1. Never go early
Am sure you are not new to ''Nigerian time''? That would form another discussion for another day. On getting to the event pretty earlier than usual, I noticed they were yet to start even at the take off time. In fact, they started three hours later. It is best to stay prepared than caught unawares. Buy bottled water/sip a drink or take popcorn, pop chewing gum because hunger pangs would start locking in.

2. Change your name
I actually went there to interview guests. Do you know that virtually all the guests I spoke had English names like Tataina, Lerato, Sandra, Meagan, Carolina, jeffrey, Clinton, Moissa and the likes. I didn't hear names like Akpo, Nkechi, Mayowa, Biliki, Livinus, Chikodiri, Mutiu, Bala e.t.c

3.Speak with phoney accent
Some people spoke with phoney accent. I think it was embarrassing to speak pidgin or be real. It was more or less a show-off of a  particular kind of attitude. ''Spreeing'' to the fullest less you be tagged local.

4.Dress street style
This one is a personal thing. Fashion is what you wear, style is how you wear it. People never go for Lagos event without having the intention to slay and make heads turn. Not bad if you ask me. However, if it appears that you made so much effort  to make a statement then wahala dey! As in when you make an entrance yet nobody ja you face. *sighing*

5. Go with power bank
Unless you have two fully charged batteries then you might not necessarily bother about this. The event would be taking selfies, making calls,  videos and all and if care is not taken your phone battery might just get totally drained. Just have a back up plan.

6. Never go solo
No man is an Island. If you really want to have fun and don't want to feel left out, it's best to have a buddy around. Trying to blend might land you several jibes. Unless your threshold is very strong, you might allow people give ''ela'' and take it calmly as part of life. Seriously, it is more fun to be in the company of your friends or family.

With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you of how to attend a Lagos event. Did I leave out any tip, please share....xoxo

Saturday, 6 August 2016

Battlefield






PhotoCredit: www.singlemindedwomen.com
Are women their own worst enemies? Well…it is actually subjective but there is the general view that women have issues amongst themselves. When Heaven told me her story, I could not help but wonder why women do not have each others back. The competition is real for who is more beautiful, endowed and accomplished. There would always be a woman prettier, taller, more shapely, more intelligent. No one can win the race in the battle for who has it all in the women folk. There would always be someone ahead and someone behind.


Heaven had narrated how she had gone to submit an application a day after closure.  It was partly her fault but circumstances made her a day late. She had got the information late from her colleagues. The day they went to submit theirs, she was unavoidably absent-on a research mission. Heaven had summoned courage despite her colleagues telling her that it was already late. For Heaven, it was better to try than not to try at all.  The next day, she gathered all her hard copy of credentials, dressed corporately and matched to the office that advertised the vacancy to submit her application.

On getting to the office, the man at the entrance gave her a little hope but another man was kinda haughty and not bulging. The haughty man had directed Heaven to singlehandedly give the application to the woman -in-charge. The other kindhearted man beckoned to him that they should help but his partner was adamant. He even expressed his fears to his colleagues that the woman-in-charge might shout at her for late arrival. In the end, Heaven had to go and meet the "woman" herself as all persuasion amounted to nothing.


The "woman" was exact opposite of Heaven-no weave-on(short natural hair instead), no make up, no earrings, very long skirt…did you know after Heaven explained to the woman the reason for her late submission of the application, the woman literally threw Heaven out. The woman told Heaven to go outside the building. And that was where she attended to her.

Please who does that?
 #GirlsAreNotSmilingFace


While outside, Heaven was muttering prayers that God touches the woman's heart and that she gets to submit the application. When the "woman" came out,she clung to the close door handle and what came out her mouth was without conscience. First of all, her body language was we don't want you here. The woman shut the door. And then she said it was pointless using a flimsy excuse or looking for a criteria that made Heaven unqualified. That's how Heaven left defeated. No mercy from her fellow woman.  Even if she rejected Heaven’s application, did she have to do so crudely???



What do you think? Do women have each others back? Why do we compete with each other? Please share your thoughts, I am itching to hear from you.