Showing posts with label Peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peace. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Picking up the broken pieces


Photo credit: Oko's Blog

These things  normally happen in Nollywood but no, it was live. It happened to her. It was either the guy breaks the lady’s heart or vice versa and then the  hurting one goes mad or life becomes meaningless. She neither went mad nor lost her life purpose but she felt dejected.”

They say that time is meant to heal wounds but she was unsure if she would get over knowing that her ex just tied the knots. Yes! He just made her know she was history while his wife was his present and future.
She had  had big hopes that he would return. It was her belief that they were destined to be together. They had a lot in common. They were namesakes, from the same tribe, attended Sunday school together and the attraction was there.

However, she had pushed him to the wall ignoring his constant complaints of  her annoying behaviour. To her, he would forgive her as he always did. One day, he told her that he was no longer interested in the relationship. She thought he was joking. This was the same guy who confessed to love her always regardless. May be she banked on his forgiving nature that she forgot that he was human and would have breaking points. Then, it dawned on her that she was no more his priority, his bae, his woman and his heart.

It broke her heart. For nights she cried and cried, tried to make amends through various means and channels. She went through his siblings but to no avail. She went through his mentors and friends instead they advised her to moved on that she had stretched him beyond limit.

How would she live without him? No more calls? No more chats? No more outings? No more gists? No more planning together for the future? No more visitations ? No more games? No more eating together? No more laughing together?No more pictures together? No more praying together? No more….she could go on and on….

She thought she should give him some time probably he would come around. However, things turned out for the worse. It was like she was so obsessed with him. The more she tried to win him over, the more he withdrew. He resorted to blocking her on all social media platforms when she constantly tried to communcate with him. Facebook blocked. Whatsapp blocked. LinkedIn blocked, too. Okay, he was not on twitter. Then he stopped picking her calls.

The silent treatment nearly drove her nuts but she had something else that she had to hold on to or else her life seemed meaningless. She just got admission for a Masters degree. Would she allow the heartbreak to allow the opportunity to further her studies slip away? No! She had her education to fight for too. She would still go back to school, with a broken heart though. Also, she had a career in line, she could not allow her emotions get the better part of her and allow her career suffer.

Althrough her studies and career, she was hoping that one day, he would come back and say ”I am sorry, let’s start over again” and then that one day came and she got the biggest shock of her life. She found that he was now married. Thanks to social media and other sources. She could not believe it. It should have been her in the picture with him? But No, she was not.

Wow! First it was the denial stage. She said to herself that the woman in the picture with him could not be his bride probably a friend but pictures don’t lie. She had to admit the lady appeared beautiful but was the direct opposite of her in terms of physical appearance. It was far from friendship, this picture revealed they were life partners.

First impulse was to scream but instead she sent a congratulatory message to him hoping he would read it. He had completely blocked her from his life. Sadly, they had parted ways in the most bitter manner. No form of reconciliation or making peace with ones past girlfriend(s) as some guys do before tying the knot. (Most guys are guilty of this, when they are about to get married they start calling ex-gilrfirends to make peace so that they dont go with baggage into their marriage.)

Back to her story. It has been three weeks since she got to know that he was now married. She had lost weight and the pain in her chest was excruciating.
” Will you die because of one guy?” came one advice” Remember, if you die because of a man, many better finer men would pass by your grave and say ”omashe oo”’

If not for support from family and friends, she would have been a shadow of herself. She craved for encouragement as a newborn crave for breastmilk from the mother. The future looked bleak for her. This was someone she dreamt of the future with. Would she forgive herself for stretching him too far? Would she get over her regret?Would she find someone better than him? Does she need to revenge and let him know that he has no control of her happiness? Would she continue to stalk him on social media and give him the power to hurt her the more? These and many more questions filled her mind that she barely knew the answers to.

Her career was at stake and she still hopes to further her education. She was not ready to throw all her aspirations away even though the man she thought she loved was now married to someone else. She would just take a day at a time, her life was very precious to be wasted in regret.
As she wished him well in all his endeavours, she also muttered a prayer to her God that their parts never crossed and that she looks back at this phase in years to come and have a very good laugh because she thought she would never get over it.

Saturday, 5 November 2016

Frenemies(Friends + Enemies)




Shuttling from bus to bus is spiced with drama, laughter and irritation. You meet the good, the bad and the ugly. On this fateful day, the bus I boarded had a preacher.We do bump into them occasionally but this particular one struck me with his message.

He was talking about enemies( I used to think Durella and Timaya were the only ones that had enemies because they were all singing about enemies) but it is not so. According to the preacher, people had pictures of their supposed enemies and they raise prayer point against these people. He was like it was better to pray that one is at peace with his maker than pray for ones enemies to die. There was the likelihood that a person may be his own enemy and in turn pray for his/her death or downfall.

Another thing that struck me was how he gave instances of how certain professions were not human-friendly and could be potential enemies. For instance, a doctor income increases with the increase of sick people. His business thrives only in a diseased community, isn't it? The preacher made sense though.

This one is easy to relate with. The guy who sells coffins makes huge profit with the increase in the number of deaths. Does that mean that his prayer point would be for people to die so he would have customers? Your guess is as good as mine. But if he is not available who would make coffins?

Someone like me I am very happy when dollar in creases because international freelancing jobs pay in dollars and that means more money for me. Does that make me an enemy of progress??? Knowing that increase in dollar rates brings inflation in the Nigerian economy. Every Tom, Dick and Harry would want to inlfate the prices of their commodity with the dollar increase trend.

 I saw a display picture that engineering is the only profession that makes profit through solving problems. How true is this? Come to think of it, the lawyer gets busy with increased crime rates, the mechanic's business blossoms with the breaking down of many vehicles. Law Enforcement officials get working with increased crimes. If all the students were brilliant then there would be no need for teachers to teach.

Long and short of this turanchi is that all professions exist to solve a need no matter how critical they appear. And we should be careful who we tag as enemies becuase man might be his own enemy. It is best to be at peace with ones self, Maker and neighbours.