Showing posts with label Competition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Competition. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 April 2018

Why do women dress up? For themselves, men or other women?

Photo credit: SheKnows
One debate I find worrisome is the issue of  women dressing solely to attract a man?  Based on their status, it has been concluded that they do dress up only with the expectation of attracting the opposite sex.Why should this be the case? Can't a woman just dress the way she pleases provided it is not provocative?


Some time ago, an aunt, who came visiting, was literally dressed to kill. She was fully made up with her hair was on fleek. Now, this aunt was still single then. Side talks flowing from all corners said that she was dressing to 'sell her market' no wonder she was 'packaging'. 'Packaging' or not, she wanted to look good and feel good, so she owed no-one an explanation or apology.



How about married women? On a television programme I watched recently, most of the married women who called in to speak on the matter, said that they were basically dressing for their husbands.(On the flip side, there have been reported cases where at the dating stage, the woman remains hot and steps up her dressing game but after the marriage, she seems to care less of how she looks anymore). There have also been some conclusions that there are certain ways married and single women should dress.


A co-worker came to work agitated. I noticed she was not her usual self so I asked her what the problem was.  It was then she started narrating to me how she how the bus conductor has harassed her because of her clothing. According to her, the bus conductor had accosted saying that she should not be wearing a short gown after he sighted her wedding band. He added that such wears should be for single women and not someone of her status. She was confused as she was there anything wrong with her dressing? I replied that she should take it as one of those days; she should not take it too personally. Funny enough, the short gown was bought by her husband, case closed.



At times I wonder whether it is only married woman who should wear only loose clothes and the likes. Then the skin-tight dresses are for her single counterparts? And if she tries to switch then that makes her irresponsible or what?


What is the real essence of dressing? Basically, if it suits and complements one looks, one should go for it regardless of one's marital status.  With the woman created for the glory of man as revealed by the Holy Book, that appears to be another indicator that a woman's desire might just be for the man only. Besides, men are visual beings, so it is most likely that women who just want attention would do so by their through her dressing?!


How about other possible cogent reasons for dressing up? We must not forget that looking good is good business. It does not necessarily require breaking a bank but it just requires the right combination, knowing what suits one, the carriage and the personality of the person rocking the outfit.


There are other reasons why an unmarried/married woman would want to make a fashion statement. It might be that she is very passionate about fashion. What we would call a slay mama aka fashionista. It might also be to make her presence felt or leave a lasting impression with her adornments. She might also be dressing based on the climatic and environmental condition(even though at times you wonder how a lady would wear a sleeveless lacey gown in a fully air-conditioned room?)


A woman would also dress for identification based on her sex, occupation and status. One major reason any woman would want to  dress up is to cover her nakedness, after all, we have gone past the time in garden of Eden. Sometimes, she might be overdressed, other times she is underdressed; the rule of the game is to be modest. If fashion is her thing, then let her express herself the best way she can especially when she can afford it and has the body and confidence to rock it. It is not all about attracting the men. Personally, I do so for myself and to compete with other women.  Do you dress for yourself, other women or men?

Did I shake any table? ):




Sunday, 19 June 2016

Dear Diary...




Are women their worst enemies? ( ImageCredit: daily.co.uk)


Dear Diary,

Are women their own worst enemies? I heard this somewhere but can't place it.  As rhetoric as the question is, the truth is it still has an answer. Talking with guys, they were quick to admit that women are quick to run one  another down. it is like we have given men the power to alter a woman's countenance, all they have to do is to shower another woman with attention and compliments then you would see how the "other" woman reacts.

 Sometime ago in secondary school, two girls were fighting. Cant really remember what the bone of contention was but it was quite serious because both girls were getting physical.  So a guy stepped in to separate them. He just said something and that was what ended the fight. He was like una dey fight for who chest big pass abi??  Those of us watching busted into  laughter. The two fighters somehow separated and ended their fight.

 Recently, social media went ablaze with the pre-wedding photos of a couple. It was kinda different. The bride-to-be was on the big side and her man opposite. Trust relationship experts, they had already dissecting the outcome of such union. For crying out loud, the groom-to-be had made his choice and went ahead to show the  world. That was a bold move. The comments that poured in were largely from the women folk. Some of them were thought is best for the bride-to-be should slim down or stand the risk of loosing her man. What should have been obtainable would have been to wish the couple the best of marital bliss but some bad belle women took it upon themselves to make scathing remarks.

Daily billboards, magazines, television programmes etc. bombard us with the ideal image of a woman. Some women strive to be a look-alike of what the media has presented to them, forgetting that they can only be a wanna-be or photocopy not the original. Trust me, it is unending struggle trying to be someone else when you can feel free to be the best version of yourself.

Truth is from day one, a woman is being made to attach beauty with values-the beautiful ones land the best jobs, the beautiful ones attract the opposite sex, the beautiful ones get more attention, the beautiful ones are more favoured. Beauty sells, image is basically everything in today's world. Well...beauty is not a bad thing but when it is in form of competition or trying to meet up to a particular standard then wahala dey.

Ayi Kwei Armah had said the beautiful ones are not yet born. That is another debate for another day. I would never estimate the essence of being presentable and beautiful but it is distasteful if the carrier has an ugly heart, rude character and bad manners. Proverbs 11:22 makes it clear that a beautiful woman without discretion is like  a gold ring in a pig's snout. I am a work in progress myself, I would not pretend to know it all. Both content and container are important in branding.

 Naturally it is characteristic of a woman to engage in social comparisons.Women don't need to fight each other over who is more endowed or not, who is prettier or not, who gets more comments and likes....  There is space for every one of us...

 Yours Truly,
  Omote Ro Dhe