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Is it fair?The youngest in the family are usually entitled the smallest share of anything (especially food). Would that be the reason for my seemingly stinginess? If I have the chance to have a large chunk of food to myself, I do not really mind eating all alone. The very thought of seeing larger shares going to your elder ones requirs discipline. It takes someone contented and disciplined to overlook this. Back then, it got to the point that sometimes I don't follow due process, since I know that I would take the least share , why bother? I will just carry my two legs and take what is mine (the smallest) and go quietly.
As a toddler, I did not notice this trend but as I grew older it became an issue. It was either I do not look at my older ones share lest I feel bad or I just swallow my grievances and enjoy whatever I was offered. That I became programmed to take the smallest share of everything in the house. I just naturally believed anything small was mine, no dispute. That was how my mind was programmed. What ever was small and least belonged to me.
My parents are staunch believers of culture and tradition. It is even very strict and more enforced judging that they both elder ones in their family so they have younger ones. That means they really do not understand what it means to be the youngest.
They believe that there must always be demarcation between the oldest and youngest. I actually grew up to the tunes of you are the youngest, are you mates? Why do you crave for the lion share of everything, don't you know that you are the youngest? And the likes.
Sometimes I wonder if tradition could be broken and may be equity and equality is allowed. Would that give room for disrespect? In a way, probably so and in another way, probably not.If I had the same thing as those older than me does that really mean we were on the same level? It is not the case of knowing your place and giving respect to whom respect is due.
Some homes do not see this tradition as a big deal. While some prefer that older ones would give part of their shares to the youngest, others allow the youngest to do the sharing for the older ones to make their choice. I do not know sha but I would definitely understand the plight of my youngest child knowing that I have gone through the tradition and survived. It taught me to be contented, may be stingy and put others need before myself.