Showing posts with label Workplace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Workplace. Show all posts

Sunday, 22 April 2018

Why do women dress up? For themselves, men or other women?

Photo credit: SheKnows
One debate I find worrisome is the issue of  women dressing solely to attract a man?  Based on their status, it has been concluded that they do dress up only with the expectation of attracting the opposite sex.Why should this be the case? Can't a woman just dress the way she pleases provided it is not provocative?


Some time ago, an aunt, who came visiting, was literally dressed to kill. She was fully made up with her hair was on fleek. Now, this aunt was still single then. Side talks flowing from all corners said that she was dressing to 'sell her market' no wonder she was 'packaging'. 'Packaging' or not, she wanted to look good and feel good, so she owed no-one an explanation or apology.



How about married women? On a television programme I watched recently, most of the married women who called in to speak on the matter, said that they were basically dressing for their husbands.(On the flip side, there have been reported cases where at the dating stage, the woman remains hot and steps up her dressing game but after the marriage, she seems to care less of how she looks anymore). There have also been some conclusions that there are certain ways married and single women should dress.


A co-worker came to work agitated. I noticed she was not her usual self so I asked her what the problem was.  It was then she started narrating to me how she how the bus conductor has harassed her because of her clothing. According to her, the bus conductor had accosted saying that she should not be wearing a short gown after he sighted her wedding band. He added that such wears should be for single women and not someone of her status. She was confused as she was there anything wrong with her dressing? I replied that she should take it as one of those days; she should not take it too personally. Funny enough, the short gown was bought by her husband, case closed.



At times I wonder whether it is only married woman who should wear only loose clothes and the likes. Then the skin-tight dresses are for her single counterparts? And if she tries to switch then that makes her irresponsible or what?


What is the real essence of dressing? Basically, if it suits and complements one looks, one should go for it regardless of one's marital status.  With the woman created for the glory of man as revealed by the Holy Book, that appears to be another indicator that a woman's desire might just be for the man only. Besides, men are visual beings, so it is most likely that women who just want attention would do so by their through her dressing?!


How about other possible cogent reasons for dressing up? We must not forget that looking good is good business. It does not necessarily require breaking a bank but it just requires the right combination, knowing what suits one, the carriage and the personality of the person rocking the outfit.


There are other reasons why an unmarried/married woman would want to make a fashion statement. It might be that she is very passionate about fashion. What we would call a slay mama aka fashionista. It might also be to make her presence felt or leave a lasting impression with her adornments. She might also be dressing based on the climatic and environmental condition(even though at times you wonder how a lady would wear a sleeveless lacey gown in a fully air-conditioned room?)


A woman would also dress for identification based on her sex, occupation and status. One major reason any woman would want to  dress up is to cover her nakedness, after all, we have gone past the time in garden of Eden. Sometimes, she might be overdressed, other times she is underdressed; the rule of the game is to be modest. If fashion is her thing, then let her express herself the best way she can especially when she can afford it and has the body and confidence to rock it. It is not all about attracting the men. Personally, I do so for myself and to compete with other women.  Do you dress for yourself, other women or men?

Did I shake any table? ):




Thursday, 25 January 2018

Can you work for a younger boss?

Photo credit :Shuttershock


Even though we are made to believe that age is just a number, it is very serious issue particularly in the African setting. Those older usually have the lion's share and the best of everything. They are more privileged, believed to be more experienced, matured and of course responsible.
 
 
In some cases,  it is believed that older people are more ripe for marriage than younger people because they appear to be  better off in their choices having had their share of life experiences.
 How about in the work place? Ideally, one is supposed to have a boss that is older and more experienced. That way you don't feel intimidated or envious. And then the workplace would be conducive and less tense since you know your place. But what happens when it is the reverse?
 
For Betty, as she welcomed the new year, it was time for her to make a shift from her comfort zone in her workplace. Having spent five years in the same position,with no promotion, no form of visible growth and to top it all boredom of the highest order due to doing the same routine week in, week out, she thought it best to seek for another job. This time, she aimed for a higher position with obviously a higher pay in a new establishment.
 
She was fired up. You know the new year feeling, when you feel motivated to pursue new goals. One of her goals was to make the switch into better establishment with better opportunities, exposures, skill acquisitions and mouth-watering worker's package.
 
As she made adjustment to her CV, she embarked on a job search, sent in her applications, kept her fingers crossed while hoping for positive outcomes. Soon, her phone beeped, it was a message that she had been shortlisted for a job interview in three days time.
 
Her next move was to prepare for the interview as the day drew closer. The day before her interview, after ironing her wear for the interview, she packed all the needed items into her handbag. Looking at the mirror, to see her facial expressions and body language  as she rehearsed possible answers, she felt confident that she would definitely get the job.
 
Fast forward to the D-day, she woke up quite earlier than usual, performed her morning routines and left for the job interview. Thankfully, she got there on time. She would have been disappointed if she had allowed the traffic show its ugly head. She was the first candidate at the job interview. That was a good sign for her.  Taking a deep breath before she was called upon, Betty maintained her composure and calmness.
 
Then, the time drew near and she was ushered in to meet the interviewer. As she opened the door, she was shocked to her bone marrow. The interviewer was a much younger lady than herself. Betty was in her mid thirties and the interviewer should be around her mid twenties. In her mind, she was like 'What does this  one know?'
 
Looks can be deceiving, true! but she was sure than she was very much older than the interviewer. She had already started calculating how she would be saying 'Yes Ma' and taking orders from this young lady.
 
Based on the research that she conducted on the establishment, she was expecting to meet with the Managing Director. It was later that she learnt the person had retired recently before handing over to his daughter and that was the person interviewing her.
 
Even though, several thoughts were going through her head, Betty carried on with the interview professionally. She saw that the lady in question, even though younger, demonstrated competence, high level of expertise and IQ. She didn't know whether she would like to work for someone younger than herself.
 
Being the eldest child in her family, she wasn't answerable to her younger siblings,  who looked up to her for virtually everything. This was going to be a tough pill to swallow if she lands the job.
 
As she left the place of her job interview, pride crept in and Betty muttered that she would not like to work for someone younger than herself. It was 'unto the next one for her'. She took time to  google her interviewer name and what she saw was very impressive. Her academic and professional qualifications were no where near hers yet she was older. For her, it was a wake up call, to acquire more skills, do a professional course, go for a higher degree, anything to step up her game but working for her junior, obviously a no-no.
 
 
On the flip side of side,  we see older women getting married to much younger men acknowledging them as the  head and being submissive, so then why is it difficult for people to work for younger bosses in the workplace?
 
 

Friday, 17 November 2017

How do you deal with a difficult co-worker?


Photo credit :Botswana Youth magazine

When people of different backgrounds and personalities come together in the workplace, there is bound to be conflicts. The beauty of this is that they can come to a compromise, get to understand themselves better and know how to relate to one another properly to avoid any friction.
However, how about that coworker who this does not seem to apply to because it is just difficult to get along with them… no matter what? While such persons might test your endurance level and develop your character, if care is not taken, they might just make you frustrated and unfulfilled on the job. 
This brings me to an incident that happened some days ago. I was thinking of the work load and how I was going to meet deadlines, so dragging for my change with a bus conductor was the last thing on my mind. It so happened that the bus conductor was not only bent on delaying me from getting to work early, but also planning to spoil my happy mood.

Thankfully, a passenger was kind enough to part with her change and that solved the issue. She obviously was embarrassed by the way I kept thanking her for kindness until she disappeared into the crowd. I looked at my watch, I thought it best to board a bike instead of a bus to get to work on time. This time I was prepared and I had my change, so no worries.
Getting to work, I had mapped out my plan for the day. Knowing that I was the one on duty, I had the whole office to myself. I stocked my food pack, downloaded podcast messages from some amazing people to listen to while working. These would come in handy and would definitely make working today quite interesting.
I heaved a sigh of relief that I made to work at the nick of time. So I went to the rest room to freshen up and lo and behold! You won’t believe what I saw in the toilet seat. Two heavy chunks of faeces popping their ugly heads at me!
I rushed out of the restroom immediately for the smell from there was quite nauseating. I thought of who was guilty of this atrocious act, and from all indications, the possible culprit appeared to be Milicent.
Milicent represents that coworker who is just outrightly difficult. She sees you as her biggest competitor. You try to be nice, she interprets it that you have ulterior motives. You are not nice and gbam, she becomes happy that she has something as evidence to use against you.
What did I do? I just kept my distance to avoid any alterations. I could not help but point a finger that she was the one who messed up the toilet. First, she was on duty while I was away, and since I would report the next day, it was possible she committed the act to spite me. Besides, we are the only ones that have access to that office, so who else could it have been?
Well… I could be wrong, but we all know that coworker who is just so difficult no matter how you try to blend with them. Having devised all means to friends with her, my last resort was to keep my distance to avoid any friction.
I remember how work became unbearable because we had to work as a team. For no reason, she would just stir up drama and I promised to keep my cool.
Back to my ordeal in the rest room, while I was being pressed, I was still contemplating what to do. Should I clean it up? Or should leave the mess for whoever did it? That was how I was muttering and complaining, until I realised that I had work to do. Retreating to my seat, I thought of all that I mapped out to do. Would I allow one incident spoil my mood?
My thoughts went back to the annoying conductor and for a moment, I thought that day was supposed to be one of those days. Then I thought about the kind passenger and smiled. Meanwhile, I was still pressed. Somehow, after pleading the blood of Jesus, I cleaned the restroom for my use. I didn’t want to go through the process of contacting the cleaners and hear their own complaints.
The day had just started and enough drama already, determined to not let things take a toll on me, I cleaned the toilet and let it go! However, it left me wondering how long I would be condoning such acts.
Now, I understand while most cleaners are usually grouchy. It is not easy when people make your work difficult for no just reason. Why would anybody use the toilet without flushing for goodness’ sake?  I don’t quite get it at all!